40th Anniversary Arrived; Was Actually Unbelievably Sad

posted in: Blog, Calendar, History, My Life, Writing | 2

Our 40th wedding anniversary arrived. I really thought it would be a time for happiness. But as I showed other people our wedding pictures, I realized how sad it really was.

A tribute to those that were there and have since passed away

The Wedding Night

I still remember our wedding night. For me, it was a time for a man and a woman to be alone together. Didn’t happen. We had two of the most stubborn friends ever – and total opposites in their views. They settled in at my, now our, apartment, arguing. I just knew they were going to spend the night. Then I burst out crying…and everybody left. Crying is part of my long-established temperament. I can’t control it when it starts. I’ve learned to just let it go. If my crying makes you feel bad, well, that’s not my problem, no more than my crying is your problem. …There would be no “first night”.

Those two special people arguing were Andy’s Best Man, Scott Schielke, and one of my best friends, Trisha Qualls. I fully expected Scott to show up to our wedding in red tennis shoes and Trish to stop us in the middle of the ceremony to tell everybody what we were doing wrong. But neither happened. Don’t ask me how they both ended up at my/our apartment after the wedding. I have no idea. 

Scott passed away the same year as my Dad. Trisha, just a few years ago; or almost 10, I can’t remember. The only thing similar about these two was that they would argue with a brick wall if it was in front of them. And they were two brick walls facing off on our wedding night. I miss them both and am so sad that they are gone. Yes, even these brick walls, I miss. RIP Scott and Trish!

Parents, So Sad Some are Gone

Well, those were the groomsmen and bridesmaids. Then I began to think of the other pictures. Mom’s still around, but Dad left us when he was seventy. It seemed like I would never be able to move again after he died. But I continue to live this life. Then Mrs. Bohrman passed away. It all seems like a bad dream, a really sad, bad dream. RIP Dad and Mrs. Bohrman.

Grandparents – Happy Memories, But Still Sad

Andy had a grandparent who was not able to attend. She has now passed away. He has talked about all his grandparents at some point. Pictured are my grandparents who were at our wedding. Grandmaw lived to be seventy. On the other side, Papa was in his eighty’s and Mama was headed toward one hundred. Mama was short – under five feet – but she was tough. She didn’t die until after Dad.

I remember one great grandmother and one great grandfather living during my lifetime. It’s sad not to be able to spend time with these special people anymore. I especially miss the holidays we spent with our grandparents. RIP Grandmaw, Mama, and Papa.

Those Still Here

My cousins and cousin-in-law were there. At the grooms’ cake was one of Trish’s good friends from Southwestern at Memphis. Trish always reminded me of her name. I knew her but was never close.

Wanda Smith, from high school, was one of the wedding cake servers. I still try to keep up with some high school friends. Wanda was great. She put up with me even when I was a pain. Another cousin at the punch bowl – I have a lot of them. Andy does, too


Aunt Eloise was one of the most recent funerals we attended. She’s pinning a flower on Wanda who worked at Pier I Imports. Wanda told me that Andy and I would make a good match. She sat at the guest book for us. I never saw that wonderful lady after the wedding.

Aunt Eloise was the mother of all boys (men). This I can relate to. RIP Aunt Eloise.

Andy’s Brothers and Cousins

The next picture is of Andy, his brothers, and his cousins on his father’s side. They’ve all grown up now. We saw many of them at Andy’s Mom’s funeral.

The Other Mother

Geneva passed away long ago in Memphis. She raised the three of us, while Mom did the bookkeeping for several businesses. She looked after us mostly in our school years. I remember hearing about her passing away long before any of the others in this list. RIP Geneva Payne.

The rest of the photos appear in this Facebook album – Andy & Stephanie’s Wedding, on the Stephanie Bohrman Facebook page.

It’s been a long haul, good and bad. But we knew that it was going to be an adventure and that it has been! Love you, Andy!

2 Responses

  1. Phil Bohrman

    Stephanie, that is a beautiful writing. Very well done. Brings tears to my heart and a smile on my mouth. I love you.

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